Predestined Foundations, Self-Chosen Horizons

This Father’s Day, you were absent, utterly and completely.

And I, at last, have decided to make peace with myself.

We enter this world either by "predestined allotment" or by "acquired choice."

I was destined never to have a whole father; this is the backdrop I must learn to accept with equanimity.

In the enduring distance between us, I grew accustomed to the perspective of an "observer," calmly examining the textures of all things. Perhaps, this is the only legacy you left me.

I once wrote a letter, pouring out every doubt in my heart.

I gave you ample time, but it wasn’t until you turned away and left this world that I understood: the answers I sought would never come. That letter remained forever unanswered, sinking like a stone into the sea.

I once asked myself: As your child, was there ever a single moment that made you proud?

In time, I realized the answer no longer matters.

It was never a lack of time; it was a choice of evasion.

You spent your whole life running, until the very end.

You once told my mother, "I owe you; I will repay you in the next life."

But I ask myself: If there truly were an afterlife, why would I ever want to encounter you again?

True courage lies in settling accounts in this life, not deferring them to the next.

Recently, I tried to reconstruct your voice with AI. In the fleeting moment that phantom resonance sounded, I woke up.

That was not you. Even if I can objectively understand every action of yours, it is merely an echo of data, incapable of filling any void.

Writing this is simply to release that version of myself who spent so many long nights waiting. You have your own lesson: cowardice and evasion. I have my own journey: growth and self-healing.

You tried to erase my existence; I will use the rest of my life to anchor the weight of my soul.

I choose to offer forgiveness, if only to settle our accounts once and for all.

Our ties end here; we owe each other nothing.

If there is an afterlife, may we both find fulfillment separately, free of debt. Whether we meet again or not is of no concern; after all, life is meant to be beautiful.

I will live well, and I will make myself proud.

We are not born as we are; we become ourselves through the choices we make.

However absurd life may be, I choose to resist, gently yet firmly, for the rest of my days.

There is no such thing as "should" or "should not" in this world; among 8 billion people, each carries their own unique hue.

To be at peace with oneself, that is the freedom above all else.