Decent Treatment, Break Hurtful Habit First

Make Them "Speak Like a Decent Person" — First, Break Their "Habit of Hurting Others"

The most powerless thing when being hurt is not the harm itself, but the perpetrator’s sense of entitlement rooted in their ingrained mindset.

They have long convinced themselves that "it’s okay to treat you this way," "you won’t fight back," and "taking advantage of you comes at the lowest cost." That is why they dare to overstep boundaries, belittle you, and even trample on your dignity without hesitation. This habitual harm, driven by the assumption that "it works," is essentially a lack of respect for you. And if you want them to drop their arrogance and "speak like a decent person," concession and tolerance will never be the answer.

The prerequisite for making someone "speak like a decent person" is to make them realize that you cannot be taken for granted.

Faced with malicious preconceptions, "fighting fire with fire" is the most straightforward way to stay rational: if they treat you with indifference and perfunctoriness, you don’t have to keep being nice to them; if they push their luck and demand more, you should directly draw the line and make them pay the price; if they look down on you with arrogance, you should fight back fiercely with your strength and attitude. Here, the "fire" does not mean actively hurting others. It refers to the resolve to refuse indulgence and compromise. You need to make it crystal clear that hurting you will come with consequences, and their ingrained bias will never work on you.

The harsh reality of human nature is this: only when they find that "you are not an easy target" and "taking advantage of you is not worth it" will they put aside their sense of entitlement and learn to treat you as an equal. Making someone "speak like a decent person" never depends on begging or ingratiation, it relies on your own attitude and confidence to break their habit of hurting others. It teaches them this lesson: to be respected, you must first learn to respect others; to communicate sincerely, you must first abandon the hurtful tactics. The more courageously you face harm and fight back resolutely, the more you will earn the right to be treated with decency and spoken to like a fellow human being.